SAVE THE FILE!

Could there be anything more breathtaking in the world? Few things stir my emotions more than this status bar in Illustrator. I have watched this bar countless time waiting for my file to save. More often than not the file saves perfectly fine, and I continue on my merry way. When a large file comes my way though anxiousness and panic well up inside of me.







I often take this time to sip my coffee, check an email, or stare at the numerous pieces of art on my wall. All in an effort to pass the time and hope that my file saves.







Most times my computer is rendered catatonic, so I am usually staring at the wall. These are the moments that the panic begins to build in me.







The eternal questions rise up in me now. Is there enough memory to process the file? Do I need to close photoshop and email? I sure do have a lot of programs open. When was the last time I used Itunes?






I figure I can still see waves in the status bar then I should be fine. What if it doesn’t save though?






I check in on this bar every few seconds to see if any progress has been made. Two new pixels? Good, it’s working.







Wow that was a big jump, I think I’m going to be all right. Would it really be so bad to start over from the beginning? Sure it would get me closer to lunch, but it just means that I would have to start over. I’m pretty sure I saved the dielines version. I don’t like trying to move the dots again, and the edges of the embedded images ALWAYS get in the way. How did I even click on that? I was nowhere near it. This thing has better save or I’m going to drop kick the file in the face.

This large box I’m working on, like all large boxes, they are very fickle in their nature, and if you disturb the computer too much the box disappears. I sit patiently as the computer renders what I’m guessing is the last few bytes of this 150MB behemoth.







Now comes the moment of truth. There are TWO pixels left Illustrator. If you do not save this box then I am going to uninstall you forever! Do you hear me? You’re not going to like what will happen if you do not save the file! This is the panic talking.

I think if it displayed an “Estimated time remaining” I would go insane. Those things are never accurate, and it always sits on “12 seconds remaining” for three minutes.

How could I better spend my time during these saves? Maybe I could sketch something? Complete a creative task? I’ve tried that, but the computer always seems to sense that I am ignoring it, and saves quicker so that I can be drawn in to the machine again. If you try to purposefully ignore it, then the computer saves slower. Catch 22.

It’s hard for my mind to wrap around the fact that graphic designers were designing without a computer. I was once shown mock-ups for a logo design, and a gradient on a sheet of paper. How? How could I make these things? I know that many older designers prefer to still do everything by hand. This might be a better solution to the eternal save. That work doesn’t have to be rendered in bytes, it can just be stored in a shelf for later. I like the notion of this approach, but I can’t imagine using rub-on letters on a daily basis.







I’m getting ready to give my monitor the “Designer’s glare”. The glare coupled with the phrase that I yell in my mind “COME ON YOU STUPID COMPUTER THERE ARE TWO PIXELS LEFT!”. That stare had to have compelled the computer to save faster. I know it can sense my growing frustration with it’s lack of speed.




IT WORKED! The file saved! The status bar is gone and I can once again continue on my way. Saving the file worked this time, but I know that sometime in the next day or two I’m going to get the dreaded “Illustrator failed and needs to restart. Would you like to send a crash report?” In which case the monitor will still be enduring my “Designer’s glare” and I will have to start over again.